Things are not always as they appear to be...

How I felt after having this dream, only it was with my teddy and a few choice songs playing on repeat.

So I was sitting on the couch talking to my dad late at night like we normally do, watching whatever show happens to be on his select few channels he watches. It was getting to be about the time mom was to be getting up for work and we were laughing pretty loudly having a good conversation and not caring if we got carried away. That's when mom  came down the stairs and asked "Why are you making all this noise for?" I say "We were just talking" she looks at me like I have lost my mind and asks me "Who is we?" I look over and my dad is gone, I stop a few seconds and open my mouth to say something but can't I look up and the t.v isn't on either... Mom comes over puts a comforting arm around my shoulder and says "It's alright, I miss him too."

With everything going on with my dad I am not surprised I had a dream like this, but it still hurts and sent me through a loop and left me crying. I do not know what I would do without him, without any of my family.

The Party.

Listen to this while reading it will give you more of a feel to the dream.

I walked down a grand staircase into a huge room not unlike Cinderella only there was no prince charming, no one wore masks, and no one gawked at me wondering who I was and what I was doing there in fact, no one even cared that I had entered nor paid me any attention whatsoever. It was a huge room with pillars and the tiles on the floor were still immaculate, tables on either side of the staircase held drinks and finger foods. The room was not empty, people milled about talking to one another in their jeans and t-shirts casual for such a fancy place.
Music from no where and everywhere began to play at once it was a song I didn't recognize but everyone suddenly grabbed a partner and began to dance slowly, I looked around frantically trying to find someone to dance with I didn't want to keep throwing off the rhythm of those around me. Finally giving up and just looking around myself I realized that I now stood in the middle of the room, my friends and family danced around me happily then the music changed. People suddenly let their partners go as if they were appalled to even be in such a close proximity to one another.
Suddenly all eyes fell on me. I looked around into their accusing eyes. I took a step forward to explain that I didn't mean to do it but everyone just stood back creating a path back to the staircase. Slowly I walked through the crowed, an outcast. Finally I stood at the bottom of the stairs and looked back, the music had ended once again and everyone had completely forgotten about me, they stood around talking to one another like they hadn't just turned their backs on me.
I began walking up the stairs feeling truly alone.

My Nightmare...

I had a nightmare the other day, I cant tell you exactly what it means or why I had it, I can only tell you the part that has stayed in my head all day.

“NO! DON’T!” she cried grabbing my arm and pulling me back to face her. “Please don’t go.” she said the tears in her hazel eyes clear even in the dim moonlight.

“I have to.” I reply shrugging her hand off  and walking away. I could hear her crying, it pulled at my heart and somehow it seemed to get louder the further that I got from her. I have to.. I reminded myself again and again but I couldn’t stop myself from slowing down and stopping… WHY? why did I have to? I asked myself  unsure of the answer.

Turning I ran back to her, her cries echoing in my ears like a thousand coins dropped into a wishing well all at once. She wasn’t there, she wasn’t anywhere I open my mouth to yell for her and no sound comes out.

I’m lost, all I hear is her crying, all I can see is hundreds of trees locking me in to my own hell, my mind taunting me for leaving her like that. How could I be so cruel

Found You.

In dreams, I really don't like it when I don't know who or what it is that is after me. It just gives you that much more paranoia when you wake up, before you can calm yourself down.

Do you ever go through that; sitting up in bed after a bad dream unable to calm down enough to be rational with your thoughts? It's a very weird feeling when you think about it. Here's a weird thought, "Why would our subconscious mind want us to be freaked out? What happened in our day awake that made it want to seek revenge like that?"


I know, I know, I'm weird. but anyway here is today's dream...

The blood was everywhere, mine or someone else's I couldn't tell you but one thing is certain, there was no escaping it. I ran down the stairs and tried to open the front door but my hand kept slipping from the knob. Scared something was going to catch me I ran into the closet and and curled up into a ball in front of the door. I still didn't feel safe but it was better being in the dark than it was being out in the open. Something or someone started banging on the other side of the door, I didn't move just tensed up and slowed my breathing hoping that it would just give up and go away until the thing started trying to open the door. Quickly I straightened my legs and locked them in place on the opposite wall pushing myself back against the door to keep it from opening. There was a loud banging noise and scraping to my right I look over and see a knife sized hole of light inches from my face. 

Needless to say that's when I woke up. At any rate, I hope my dreams get better and not all this weird nightmarish stuff anymore, its starting to bug me!

~Happy Sleeping~

"AHHHH!! Oh It Was Just A Dream.."

Waking up in a cold sweat, your clothes clinging to your skin making it hard to move around and sit up. Your heart pounding, your eyes straining to adjust to the dim light, your mind racing. Silently you begin thanking all the heavens that it wasn't real. Damn I hate waking up from nightmares.


Nightmares suck. When you're having them you are freaking out when you wake up you continue freaking out till 1) you calm down because you realize how ridiculous the nightmare was 2) you turn on all the lights 3) fall back to sleep or 4)somehow manage to stop thinking about it &/or don't remember what it was about exactly and just the feeling stays with you. You know what feeling im talking about, the kind that makes you think you are in danger or somekind of immenant doom is upon you or someone you love. Worst feeling in the world I think.


Lately it seems everytime I lay down to sleep I end up being jolted awake by some sort of nightmare. The worst part about that is the fact that I cannot for the life of me remember what the hell was happening in my dreams to freak me out so bad. 


I've done a little digging and found that nightmares are triggered by stress, fears, health issues, family/friend issues and just about anything! (Isn't that helpful, not.) but if that's what triggers nightmares, what triggers erotic dreams? (Ill let you mull that over, I don't think I want to know). Also I found that your subconscious is basically letting off all the stress its been having for however long and that it pays to pay attention to your nightmares to help get the issue at hand dealt with (that is if you don't know what the issue is your dreams could help you discover it).. interesting huh?


{my digging site http://www.dreammoods.com/dreaminformation/dreamtypes/nightmares2.htm }


That's all I have for now. 


~Happy Sleeping.~

Oh No!! Not This Sh*t Again!!!

 Ever have those dreams where you are back in school? They are awkward, especially when you don't go to school and/or don't have to go back to school. I've had two of these dreams over the past couple of nights. 

 *****

The first one was more normal in which I was a transfer student in like the third grade (yeah I don't know if I was just feeling childish at that time or why my subconscious sent me back so far in school years) and I refused to sit in my chair cause I couldn't sit because I was as tall/big as I am now also in my dream I had to catch up on all the stuff I had missed so far that year while the kids watched a movie. They complained that they had to deal with me and hated the movie so I said that they should thank me for today's movie regardless if it sucked or not because if it wasn't for me then they wouldn't have got to watch the movie in the first place and would have had to do some pop quizzes I saw sitting on the teachers desk. They grumbled and pissed and moaned but let it be and i woke up as the teacher came back out from her office in the back of the room to yell at me for not working or sitting in the desk and disrupting the class.

*****

The second dream I had was about being back in high school again but things were in different places like there was an office/reception area by the stairs where there would just be a janitors closet and some classrooms.  I was standing there after school putting stuff away in my back pack trying to cram as much crap as possible into it because I had all of my books in my locker and the lady kept giving me boxes of things to take home for some ungodly reason, and had to hurry because they were going to let the monsters out soon.. (oh yeah in my dream there were monsters that they let loose on the grounds/in the halls so that people wouldn't break into the school) then Dez ((my friend) a short little redhead/ginger) came up wearing something extremely out of the ordinary a black corset with silver lining and a skirt that kind of flares out with black leather boots and stockings. 

******

(just to give you an idea it was kind of a mix of these skirts and like that corset. )

 ******
Anyway, she came up to me saying that she was going to stay late and I told her she shouldn't but she claimed she wanted to "hug" the monsters. The bell rang a warning to leave the building and I tried to convince her but when it was clear she wasn't going to budge on the issue I bolted down the hall and out towards the commons to leave the building as she walked over to the room where they kept the beasts.

 ******

Why is it in dreams you cant control what other people do?  Unless you manage to lucid dream? and why must people make you worry even within a dream, its not fair!

Taking a step back

Instead of posting a dream this time I've decided to look up some quotes about dreams/dreaming. This was inspired by a song I have playing on repeat.            

 So here are a some quotes I found from various sources books/lyrics/people  that I found either interesting, amusing and or true along with my thoughts on a few of them.

Let's start off with an easy one, one that I'm sure just about everyone has heard "A dream is a wish your heart makes"- Cinderella This is just plain scary, I mean most of my dreams are messed up and I don't think that any part of me would be wishing that they would come true. Also if a dream is a wish your heart makes, what is a nightmare?! I don't even want to think about it

This next one I just found amusing and thought it would defiantly be worth sharing, enjoy.

“People say, 'I'm going to sleep now,' as if it were nothing. But it's really a bizarre activity. 'For the next several hours, while the sun is gone, I'm going to become unconscious, temporarily losing command over everything I know and understand. When the sun returns, I will resume my life.'

If you didn't know what sleep was, and you had only seen it in a science fiction movie, you would think it was weird and tell all your friends about the movie you'd seen.

They had these people, you know? And they would walk around all day and be OK? And then, once a day, usually after dark, they would lie down on these special platforms and become unconscious. They would stop functioning almost completely, except deep in their minds they would have adventures and experiences that were completely impossible in real life. As they lay there, completely vulnerable to their enemies, their only movements were to occasionally shift from one position to another; or, if one of the 'mind adventures' got too real, they would sit up and scream and be glad they weren't unconscious anymore. Then they would drink a lot of coffee.'

So, next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you're in a science fiction movie. And whisper, 'The creature is regenerating itself.”  - George Carlin

Music is a big part of my life so here are a few quotes from different songs about dreaming.

"I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had" -Mad World 

"Dreaming of screaming someone kick me out of my mind I hate these thoughts I can't deny" -System of a down

“Do you Believe? Do you Fade like a Dream?
Let me hear you BREATHE
Let me watch as you sleep
The Sparrow's Eyes... Promises shift into judgments
I cannot deny that you were designed for my punishments” -Slipknot

"When dreaming I'm guided to another world time and time again. At sunrise I fight to stay asleep 'cause I don't want to leave the comfort of this place. 'Cause there's a hunger, a longing to escape from the life I live when I'm awake" - Creed

Sometimes I feel that my dreams alienate me from everyone else. They sometimes make me feel like I am crazy(not that I'm denying the fact just saying that they make me feel even more insane than before I went to bed)

"Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before." -Edgar Allan Poe

"I am accustomed to sleep and in my dreams to imagine the same things that lunatics imagine when awake." - Rene Descartes

But then I guess everyone's a little insane in their sleeping world...

"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night.” -Charles Fisher

Only recently have I began to feel better whilst asleep and I think this quote describes that feeling perfectly

"I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know?" -Ernest Hemingway

I wonder if people who lecture talk in their sleep or lecture in their sleep... can they escape talking?!

"Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep." - Albert Camus

This just made me giggle and wonder what would happen if you put a sober cannibal and drunk Christian together for the night... 

"Better sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian." - Herman Melville

To interrupt, no I don't always sleep well, and I usually snore, talk, or moan in my sleep I've even been known to walk around and sleep walk as well.   So I wonder if these are true..

"Those with a moral deficit put on a good show, and sleep like a baby.” - Paul Newman

“I've always envied people who sleep easily. Their brains must be cleaner, the floorboards of the skull well swept, all the little monsters closed up in a steamer trunk at the foot of the bed.”  - David Benioff

This is the last quote and I wonder are sleep and death really so closely related,? Surely they could be but If that is the case, does sleep prepare us for death? and do we (after we die) simply dream into oblivion?

“Sleep: the stepchild of Death.” -Nancy A. Collins

Center of Chaos

Dreams are very funny things, i have weird, crazy, mostly f***ed up dreams. So I have decided to share some of these dreams (not all but some).

 This is one that I had the other night.

Its dark, I can only see what the moon illuminates and that is just the trees canopy above my head, down here everything is a shade of green. I hear movement all around me circling me. I run through the trees trying to escape the sound, feeling someone in hot pursuit close on my heels. I stumble into a clearing the same time my friends do from different directions. we all meet in the middle bewildered at what is going on. After moments of devising a plan to stay together and get out of here to get back home our plan is shattered as creatures (dark and scary creatures, their form kept changing so its hard to say what they looked like) came pouring out of the shadows surrounding us. Cries of panic and fear were heard as they rushed in on us. I'm in the center of the chaos watching my friends fight for their lives, I sink to my knees crying, helpless. I want to help, to rush in and fight along side them but I cant move its like I am stuck in a box.